Away
by The Sun In The East
Summary: A series of Murtagh/Nasuada one shots, beginning with their farewell, the overlooked moment just after the fall of Galbatorix.
1. Chapter 1

**Away**

Nasuada was nearly broken.

Even with gone from Galbatorix's palace, gone from the torture and the illusions, she was about to fall apart.

And when Murtagh laced his arm around her waist, painfully thin as it was, she thought her heart would break along with her body.

It was a risk. The others were nearby, near enough to see, but as Nasuada buried her face in Murtagh's chest, she didn't care.

"Nasuada," he said her name like she was something precious, something far more than the leader of any revolution. Something perfect and beautiful, despite the way her bones protruded from near starvation and the exhaustion in her eyes. He touched his lips to her hair, and breathed softly, his eyes-half closed. "Let me go."

"I will," Nasuada replied, softly. "…you did it, Murtagh. You broke free. You… you changed," she looked up at him with tearstained cheeks. "He broke you, but in the end, you killed him."

"I did," Murtagh said, softly.

Nasuada smiled weakly at him. "Will it ease the anger in your heart?"

"Perhaps," his voice was quiet and strained. "There is… much hate in me still. Perhaps it is in my nature. I don't know."

"Then stay," she said, hiding her face in his chest again. "Stay with me. Let me fix you. Fix me, in return. What else have we to offer each other?"

"…I can't," he said. Nasuada held him closer when she heard the pain in his voice. "Let me go. Please."

"Where will you go?"

"….Away."

Swallowing her tears, Nasuada released him, her hands lingering at his waist. She looked at him, her eyes hard. "Come back to me. One day, Murtagh. Swear it."

"I can't, Nasuada."

"_Swear it._"

"It would be better for both of us if I never returned," his voice was soft, his eyes pained to hear the anger in her voice.

Nasuada pursed her lips and cast her eyes downward. He was right, of course. Hurt and angry and irrational as he was, he was right. In all likelihood, with Galbatorix gone, she would have a strong claim to the throne. Murtagh would… have no place in that.

They had been there for each other through the darkest of times. But Murtagh needed to heal. This, Nasuada knew. Heal him self of the self-hate and the fury that had lived at the core of his being for as long as she had known him.

And she, too, had healing to do.

It frustrated her to no end that this was not the sort of healing they could do together.

While she was lost in thought, Murtagh slipped from her arms. She mourned the loss of his warmth, the comfort of having his hands upon her. She watched him hoist himself onto Thorn's back, and the great red dragon turned and lowered his muzzle towards her and breathed affectionately into her hair.

_Thank you, Lady Nasuada._

Nasuada smiled at Thorn and offered him a respectful bow as his warm mind touched hers. The dragon seemed… frightened and childish despite his sage-like presence, as if he did not know how to look at the world, having been so twisted and maddened since his hatching. Nasuada had faith in the young dragon, however: Murtagh would take care of him, even as he had taken care of her. And Thorn, in turn, would care for Murtagh.

But who would care for her now, with Murtagh gone?

She had never cursed her place, or the loneliness it seemed to force upon her, until now, when she had held Murtagh in her arms and would watch him slip away.

She looked at him again, making no attempt to hide the pain in her eyes.

He leaned down, then, and smiled at her from aboard Thorn, his eyes tender and sad. He put a few fingers gently under her chin, and raised her mouth to his. His kiss, the first and only they could share, was surprisingly gentle. It bore none of the hate she had seen in his heart. Just… soft, warm, comforting lips upon hers. She twined her fingers into his hair, but even as she did, she could feel him slipping away from her yet again. "Goodbye, my love," he whispered, Nasuada's face still cradled in his fingertips. The words stole Nasuada's breath and threatened to tear her heart up through her throat.

"My love," she repeated, her voice try and weak.

Before she could say more, Murtagh's hand was gone, and his eyes turned from her face to focus on some distant point. He glanced at her, once more, and with a grim nod, a distance appeared at once between them. Thorn moved slowly at first, a few massive steps drawing him and his Rider away from Nasuada. She stared at Murtagh as he left, and she caught him looking back at her as Thorn flapped his massive wings, lifted himself into the sky, and was gone: a red dot lingering on the horizon that carried her the brief love of her life away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Murtagh**

In the end, it would be Nasuada who drew him back. He could stay away for decades, if he liked, and return as young and powerful as ever.

But if he stayed away, he couldn't have returned to _her._

He sat by his small fire, up on some mountainside where nobody could see him, thinking of her. Thorn let out a soft puff of air that ruffled Murtagh's hair and then nudged h is shoulder, his snout lingering comfortingly just beside his Rider's head.

_Do you want to go back, Thorn?_ Murtagh asked, his heart quieted by the connection with his dragon.

_You do_, Thorn replied. _I wish for you to be happy, partner-of-my-heart-and-soul._

Murtagh sighed softly, leaning his head against Thorn's snout.

_You have nothing to fear, Murtagh._

_ I do,_ Murtagh ran his fingers back through his hair. _I fear myself, Thorn. You and I share a blackness. You fear it, too._

_That blackness is not ours_, Thorn replied savagely. _It is the Monster's. _

_ You can say his name, Thorn. Galbatorix. It's okay._

A soft growl rose through Thorn's throat.

Murtagh closed his eyes, and as he did, Thorn curled himself around his rider, shielding Murtagh beneath his wing. _I'm sorry_, Murtagh said, leaning against Thorn and releasing a pained breath.

_For what?_

_I should have been stronger for you. Been able to protect you from him. He hurt you because he was able to control me like that._

_He hurt you, too. It was not your fault._ Thorn curled his neck around, so that his snout rested on Murtagh's lap. Murtagh rubbed his dragon's nose, and Thorn let out a soft purr. _And regardless, I am well now._

_Are you?_

_I am. I know who I am now, Murtagh._

_ And who is that?_

_ Your dragon._

Murtagh couldn't help but smile at that. _And I am your human._

_Exactly. We know precisely who we are. We have nothing to fear from our former captor. He's dead. You killed him. Rather unbelievable, squishy fleshy thing that you are,_ Thorn teased. Murtagh laughed slightly, stroking Thorn's snout. _I know I have been… lost. But you have guided me well, and you have no reason to worry on my behalf. And you're free! Why do you still carry this hate?_

_I am still not certain I can live with myself. With who I am and what I've done._

_ You have done nothing, Murtagh!_ Thorns tone turned rather savage. _This was done to you. And to me. What you have done, my soul, is overcome everything put before you for the people you love. _

Murtagh did not reply. He just went on stroking Thorn's snout. _Thorn_… he thought, after a moment. _When I touched Nasuada's mind and she found all that hate in me, all that ugliness, with her so noble and beautiful… I almost couldn't stand it._

_ But she loves you anyway. For all the hate you carry, she still loves you._

_ How can she?_

_ Because most of that hate is for yourself, and it is no fault of yours._

_ I suppose._

Thorn let out a soft whoosh of air, something like a sigh, and closed his massive eyes. _You should go back to her._

_ I can't help but think we simply don't belong in that world. Besides, we… we have healing to do, much as I hate to admit it._

_ Who can heal you better than her?_

_ But what about you?_

_ Murtagh, when will you realize that what will ease my heart most would be to see you happy and well?_ Murtagh thought he could sense a hint of amusement in his dragon's voice. _You want to go back to her._

_I do._ Murtagh admitted.

_Then go back to her. She will suffer without you._

Murtagh sighed, softly, and smiled wistfully at Thorn. _This is all so simple to you._

Thorn gave Murtagh a withering look. _You love her, she loves you, I love the both of you. Simple._

_ She'll be queen, now! What part do I have in that?_

_ As the hero of Alagaesia, you have every part._

Murtagh shook his head. _I'm not the hero. Eragon is. I'm… a pathetic little man who was fool enough to fall prey to the Emperor._

When Thorn next spoke, in Murtagh's head, it was nearly a shout. _IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT, _he proclaimed, raising his head to glare fiercely at Murtagh.

Murtagh looked at Thorn for a long moment, his expression conflicted and unhappy.

When his human did not concede immediate defeat, Thorn pressed onwards. _You changed. It was that which allowed the Monster to be defeated, it was you who freed me, it was you who saved and protected Nasuada… no matter how dark you consider yourself, you are a hero. And if it is the people's protest against you that you fear, then you truly may be as pathetic as you call yourself, because what should their thoughts bother a great man like you?_ Thorn's eyes remained hard, for a moment, but he eventually softened. _And besides, when they see how their queen loves you, they will concede you your victory._

_ I…. I suppose,_ Murtagh sounded unconvinced.

_Good,_ Thorn snorted, uncaring to the fact that Murtagh's response was less than genuine. _Now get on. We're going home_.

_Home?_

_ To Nasuada._


End file.
